Alice in Wonderland
by HeadinSpace
Summary: Alice goes into Wonderland and finds half-animal half-human servants of the Queen of Hearts, pirates, and much more.
1. Chapter 1

"Alice, get back here!" Ignoring the cries from the head maid, she dashed out of the room, ripping off the expensive pearls hanging from her neck and tearing away the silky gown she wore, exposing shorts and a t-shirt. "I don't want to wear stupid girly clothes! They only get in the way!" she shouted back. Dodging the people in the hallway she now ran down, Alice jumped out the window, landing on her feet a story down from years of practice. This had happened many times before. Alice's father always wanted her to be a proper noblewoman, but she was a stubborn tomboy, and always ended up escaping one way or another.

Splash! Alice ended up throwing the stone the wrong way and instead of it skipping, it dunked into the lake. She looked at herself in the water. The girl who stared back had slightly messy short hair, and rebellious eyes. She couldn't imagine this girl stuffed in a velvet dress and greeting guests at a dinner party. Grumbling, she threw a large rock at the lake, venting her anger. "What's wrong with that old coot?! He should just listen to his daughter when she says she doesn't want to do all that! 'Cause if she says she doesn't want to, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO!" The tree behind her jumped, and a boy about sixteen or seventeen years old fell out. He had clearly been sleeping and Alice had most likely woken him up when she had screamed out what she thought of her father. Feeling embarrassed, she rushed over and helped him up. He was wearing a sloppily done clothes. Alice thought he was very strange and when she looked at his face, she got a shock. He had golden eyes behind his glasses, silver hair, and the strangest thing, he had white rabbit ears sprouting out of his head. _What person has rabbit ears coming out of his head? _She thought to herself. He looked at Alice and scowled. "What's the big idea, brat?"

Alice recoiled. "Brat?! I'm about the same age as you! What's your problem, albino bastard?"

He glared at her. "Who screams at nothing? I was having a nice nap until you came along."

"You aught the be put down for rabies!"

"Shut up! Delusional moron!"

It seems they are equally matched in insults. 

**This is my first fanfiction! So, please keep nasty comments to yourself for awhile.**


	2. Chapter 2

They had been arguing a long time before the rabbit-eared boy just left Alice standing there and walked behind the tree he had fallen out of.

Alice was fuming. She ran around the tree to give him a piece of her mind and nearly fell into an abnormally large hole in the ground. Catching herself, she steadied her footing and looked over the edge, peering down into the seemingly endless fall down. However, Alice was not one just to let things go so easily and jumped right in, pursuing the silver haired boy since she was absolutely sure he had gone down as well. As Alice fell, it felt as if time was slowing down and she had plenty peace to look around. Alice couldn't see what was at the bottom, it was too dark, but she did see the sides of the hole, they were filled with cupboards and book shelves and she saw maps and pictures hung all over. There were different things on the shelves other than books and she was pleasantly surprised to find a jar of orange marmalade on one. Grabbing it and looking in though, she found it was empty and threw it to the side, disappointed.

Alice had been a bit scared when she found the long drop to the bottom invisible, thinking she might get seriously injured at the time when she finally got to the bottom. Now she was impatient though, and wanted to somehow make everything go faster. To amuse herself, she tried reading a book she had snatched from the shelves, but Alice had never been too fond of reading, and tossed it aside like she had done with the empty jar of orange marmalade. At some point while she was falling, Alice thought the jar and book might kill someone on the bottom, but it was too late for second thoughts. Then she at last dropped on a pile of sticks, which cushioned her fall. Still, it hurt, and Alice winced as she sat up. Alice had fallen into a passageway, and she saw the boy hurrying down it. "Oi, come back here! We're not done yet!" she called after him, jumping forward and forgetting her pain as she raced towards him. She was close behind him when she turned the corner, but the it was if he had just disappeared, he was nowhere to be seen. Alice grumbled in complaint, then looked around. She was in a long, low hall, which was lit up by lamps hanging from the roof. There were doors all around the the place, but they were all locked. Alice tried every one of them, but they refused to open, so after a while she tried kicking the doors open and other violent methods. All she ended up doing was hurting herself. She stormed around the middle of the hall, using colorful enough vocabulary to make a saint pass out.

Suddenly she came to a small table, all made of solid it glittered an intricate golden key, and Alice nearly jumped for joy, since she figured it had to belong to one of them. Her ecstasy soon evaporated when the key didn't fit in any of the doors. She threw it on the floor and sat down, now regretting jumping down the hole and thinking maybe she should have listened to her father and stayed at home. Alice sobbed a great deal, and stayed that way for a long time. Who knows how many hours passed like that until she dried her tears. At that moment she saw a low velvet red curtain that she hadn't seen before, and lifted it up in desperation. There was a wooden door about twelve or thirteen inches high, and Alice grabbed the key once again. Crossing her fingers, she tried the key and it fit!

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" She cried. Opening the door, Alice looked down it and saw a beautiful garden with sparkling gardens and vibrant flowers. Alice wanted to go into the garden, but she couldn't fit herself in such a minuscule opening. She was about to give up again, but decided against it, encouraging herself by saying, "If I can meet someone with rabbit ears, fall down a hole with bookshelves and stuff in it, and somehow come out in a place like this, nothing's impossible! There's a way out of here, I'm sure." She went around, feeling the walls to see if there were maybe some sort of secret passageway. When there was nothing, Alice went back to the table, prepared to smash it to bits so she could find something useful (Maybe inside the legs? She didn't know, Alice was going on limb there.) However, it turned out she didn't have to break it at all. There was a bottle on the table with a paper label tied around the neck that said: "DRINK ME" in fancy lettering. Alice didn't go and drink it, because really, you'd have to be an idiot to go trusting and drinking whatever thing was set down in front of you. She still didn't want to drink it even after thinking about it for some time, since while she was thinking about what liquid was inside might be poison or something else, she had also envisioned some gruesome endings to her life once she decided to drink it.

Alice, seeing there were no other options available, went against her reason, and gulped down a taste. After a moment of rolling it around on her tongue she found it to be delicious! It was flavored like the savory custard and strawberry tarts her mother used to bake with her, and Alice ended up gulping down the whole bottle, because she missed the taste of it. She sighed in pleasure and went to place the bottle on the table, but when she tried, she found the table was enormous, towering over her when it only a few moments before was half her height. Alice looked around in amazement. She had shrunk to barely ten inches! A demonic grin spread on her face. Now she could go catch the rabbit boy and continue where they last left off. Alice proceeded to charge into the small doorway which had still hung open the whole time into the gardens beyond.


	3. Chapter 3

Alice was heading rather quickly into the gardens when she heard footsteps back in the room. She stopped so suddenly that she fell on her face and backtracked to looked behind into the room. Her jaw dropped open. There was the rabbit-boy, who she had somehow managed to be completely oblivious of his prescense in the hallway, running into an agape door that had stubbornly refused to open for her. He had changed clothes in that time, and was now splendidly dressed, with a pair of white kid gloves and a fan that seemed awfully expensive to Alice. He was muttering to himself in his rush, complaining about some 'haughty queen' and how 'that crone can't do anything herself'.

"Hey! You! Come back here!" Alice shouted desperately after him. He jumped and dropped the white kid gloves and the fan. Then he scowled at her and continued on his way, doubling his speed. Now, although a Alice was a tomboy and was quite the runner herself, she could not catch up with the boy no matter how hard she tried. She gave up after a hopeless game of cat and mouse and went back to get the fan and gloves, thinking to herself, _If I find him, he'll have to talk to me, to at least get these gloves and fan back. _

Alice looked down at the objects, and realized she must have gotten bigger when re-entering the hall. She had a funny feeling buzzing around inside her, so she felt around and made sure everything was what it was supposed to be. Then when she was pleased with her physical form, she checked to see if she knew all she had known before.

"Let's see: four times five is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven is - oh, who cares! I'm probably wrong, it doesn't sound right. Besides, math wasn't my strong point to begin with. No, I'll try easy stuff like, huh, okay - that weird cat that goes around my house is called Mabel, and if you want to throw a stone across the lake, you have to aim to the right for a really far skim, and..." Alice continued for a long time until she finally satisfied herself.

Alice, confused as ever at all the events she had taken part in (who wouldn't be), decided to go back to the garden and follow the original plan. However, when she got there, she discovered the little door was shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass table just like when this whole charade happened. She kicked the door for good measure, feeling rather angry when Alice slipped and, SPLASH! She was neck deep in salt water. She flailed around for a second until she gathered her bearings and swam around, realizing this was a massive pool of tears that she herself had cried out earlier.

"I shouldn't have cried like that," murmured Alice, slightly embarrassed, since she had not cried like that for quite a long time. She swam around, trying to find her way to shore. _I hope there is a shore... _Alice thought quietly to herself. Soon, animals started falling into the pool, from where they had fallen Alice did not know. There was a vauge shape and Alice swan to it, now recognizing it as a ship docked onto a shore into the distance. There were figures on the shore shouting out things she couldn't quite hear. It seemed someone was yelling, 'Dodo!' and someone else was responding 'Shut up! Don't call me that! I'll feed you to the sharks!' Maybe the ship's crew had gathered on shore? Curious, Alice swam to the enlarging shore, wondering just what she would find.

**If anyone is reading this, please tell me what you think! It might take me a while to update things, I have a school project and FCAT to get ready for. Yes, I am in middle school. SHOCKER! So don't expect to much, okay? Anyway, in case you haven't noticed, this is different and similar to ****Lewis Carroll's original _Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, _and it'll get only weirder from now on.  
**


End file.
